So here we are again, good people. Today I bring you thoughts from the wilds of the mind of Andrés du Bouchet, whose photo is so awesome it made my entire night when he sent it to me.

Andrés writes for Conan and his first comedy CD, Naked Trampoline Hamlet, came out recently. He used to be the spokesperson for Twix candy bars until this drunken video appeared. (Warning: NSFW... I think? Maybe? God, I just don't know.)

I asked AdB for some random informationals to go along with his LPQ and he told me, "I grew up in a town called East Brunswick, NJ, which can collectively go fuck itself. Seriously, the whole town can vote for one of its own buildings to be the dick, one of the parking garages to be the vagina, and then they can hire a contracting company to move the building into and out of the parking garage over and over. Fuck that place. Now I'm mad. Why'd you bring it up? Fuck."

I will be expecting a response from the people of East Brunswick any minute now.

While I'm waiting, please do enjoy his...

The LP Questionnaire
Name: Andrés du Bouchet
Do you have any nicknames? Dre, Dubes, The Duber. Okay, nobody calls
me The Duber, except for Sman, Tox, Q and sometimes Cheesebuns.

1. Pretend you’re 15. Name three songs you'd put on a mix tape for your girlfriend/boyfriend. The year is 1986, and the three songs are: "Save
A Prayer" by Duran Duran, "Head Over Heels" by Tears for Fears, and "Does Everyone Stare" by The Police.

2. Which evil villain would make the best President? Magneto. Either the Ian McKellan or Michael Fassbender version, actually. I feel like he'd have the smarts to be President, plus he wouldn't tolerate those foolish humans. "Tolerating humans" is the number one weakness of most Presidents.

3. What was your favorite cartoon as a child? Star Blazers. It had the best theme song. It really gets going about 20 seconds in, and in retrospect, sounds like it's being sung by a choir of bears. Not the animal kind.

4. What superpower do you wish you had? The power to add "from Andrés, too!" to the inside of already-sealed gift cards. Or telekinesis.

5. What would the title of your autobiography be? Born With A Stage Name

Holy cats, I'm full of laughs. You can catch Andrés du Bouchet Thursday, March 15 at Esther's Follies.

We hope you have enjoyed today's edition of The LPQ. They are available here. All two of them. But soon there will be more... more with nice people like the guy from Alberta Cross, the guy from Brite Futures, and the guy from Aquarium Drunkard.

Meanwhile, things happen on Twitter here and there. I mostly whine a lot about working late and SXSW tells you important things you need to know.

Sugar my mirror, lp